Syrup Hips, Tantra, and Parenting Through Perimenopause

Syrup Hips, Tantra, and Parenting Through Perimenopause with Sarah Cakaric

Introductory Highlights
I tried so hard to only sit in the light and just to be like, “This is about the light. This is about the love.” And , yes it is, but there is so much shadow work that I’ve gone through that made things speed forwards, so much more than if I was sitting in the light.
To embrace that darker side, the shadow side of pausing, and being in that darkness. When you step into the light, it is so much more empowering. So much more transformative. It’s amazing.
I was a state champion pole dancer- back in the day. Yes. Back, way, way back. And I can’t dance with other people. I can’t dance- Yeah … with a man. I don’t know how to.
That is where youth is not dried up because they continue to play, they continue to have fun, they continue to be cheeky, they continue to push boundaries, they continue to explore.
Why do we need to stop that just because we begin to age or enter a different stage in our life? Because our body stops having the ability to have children doesn’t mean that we have to stop the ability of having fun and still being playful.

The Power of Lifelong Female Friendships

Why do long-term friendships become more meaningful in midlife?
Welcome to the Peri Moon Podcast. I am Nelle, and ah, today I am- this is just such an honour for me, and it’s kind of like a pulling back of the curtains into my, my beautiful private life. Mm. I am joined by my dear, dear, one of my best most cherished friends ever, Sarah. Um, we’ve been friends for like 20-something years, and- Yeah. Hello … um, hello. Just like- You’re gonna make me cry, stop … I’m just trying… I know, I’m trying to sum it up really, really eloquently, and I’m like- Oh, goodness … oh, there’s so much. You’ve seen me- So much … seen me at every, like, rock bottom-est part- Oh, wow … and you’ve seen me soar, and all of the bits in between, and- I, yeah, absolutely, and so have you. You’ve seen me that way too, and I think that’s what’s built our beautiful sisterhood friendship. You know, soul connection is the rawness that we have with each other, and the safety that we have with each other. And it’s so, yeah, I cherish it so much also.
Like, you are just such a, a gift in my world, and I just appreciate you so much. So thank you for having me on. I’m so, like, I’m just, I’m excited. I get to see your beautiful face, which is amazing. And yeah, to have a chat and share that with people is really special, so thank you. Aw, thank you, darling. I’m, I’m just a little misty-eyed at the moment.
You can blame me. I, um, I think there’s something about, like, long-term friendships, like I feel like they really come into their own in middle age. Like- Mm … it’s just, like now it’s, when things… You know, we’ve had the little, “Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me.” Oh, yeah. Or you know, like, “Oh, I drank too much on the weekend.”
Yeah. You know? I’m feeling a little woozy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Things like that w- in the 20s and 30s that we were like- Mm … just sort of drifting through. Yeah. And then now it’s like real stuff is happening. Oh, it’s real. Yeah. And I think too all of those, you know, they were important parts- Mm-hmm … and they were.
Like, that, at that time, that was real drama, that was real stuff, that was real life. But to be able to collect all of those lessons and knowing that we’ve moved through those parts, and at the time it was like, “Oh, I don’t think I’m ever gonna get through this. This is, like, it’s too much pain. There’s too much hurt.
There’s so… Like, how am I gonna do this?” To get to this stage of our life and look back and go, “Okay, I had to go through all of that to get to where I am now, and I have the knowledge to be able to share with others” is such a beautiful thing to have. Like, it’s the tools, I guess. Like, we had to go through all of those things in our 20s, you know, 30s, now 40s, um, yeah, to be able to- To, um, grow or to continue to grow if we s- you know, so choose to do so.
Yeah. Yeah, and that’s what I love, I love about you, is yeah, it’s not really… as we- we’re, we’re, we’re very similar. Yeah. It’s not really a choice, the growth bit, is it? No, it’s not. It’s like, no, that’s what we’re here for. Our souls signed up for this. Yeah.

Soul Contracts, Growth & Spiritual Evolution

What does it mean when people say “our souls signed up for this”?
It’s like, give me the growth, show me the edges. and the death. Like, a lot of death. Mm. Um, yeah. I definitely think, um, throughout my, my, um, discoveries of, you know, my soul, my spirit, my contract, I tried so hard to only sit in the light and just to be like, “This is about the light. This is about the love.” And you know, yes it is, but there is so much shadow work that I’ve gone through in my later years that have been so confronting and, like, just made things speed forwards, like, so much more than if I was sitting in the light.
Like, to embrace that darker side, to embrace that, the shadow side of pausing as well, like stopping and pausing and being in that darkness. When you step into the light, it is so much more empowering. It is so much more transformative. It’s amazing. Yeah. And not scary. Like, I was so scared to go to that side for so long.
Like going, “Well, I can’t,” you know? And I think too, obviously growing up in a religious household, it was like, you know, that’s, it’s darkness, it’s evil, it’s- Mm … you know, all of those stigmas that come with it.

Tantra, Feminine Energy & Emotional Excavation

What is tantra really about beyond sexuality?
And really what I’ve discovered with that for myself is it was taking away my power. Yeah. To have that fear was taking away my power.
Yeah. And you work a lot with tantra, and, and I think this is- Yeah … probably one of the biggest, you know, and tantra is not exclusively about sex, you know? Mm. There’s a whole energetic philosophy that goes with that. Yeah, absolutely. And the feminine is the darkness, you know? The fem- Oh, yeah … and, and, and I think for so long- You know, whether it’s society that’s been telling us that, or whether we just fear our own power- Mm.
to be able to sit in the depths of things and really excavate those darker- Yeah … darker textures. It is scary to do it at first. Mm. Yeah. And now I’m at a point where I’m like it would be scary for me not to, like to push them away now- Yes, yes … is scary. Yeah. I’m like, oh no, I’m, you know, even the small little things coming up, I need to, I need to see what’s going on under that- Yeah, because otherwise- Yeah … I’m going to, my light is going to be what- Yes … it, it costs me in the end. It does. It does cost you your light. Yeah, definitely. Um, and almost doing yourself a harm by not exploring that. If something niggling, you know, something’s niggling at me and I’m like, “Why can’t I ignore this?” Well, I clearly need to visit it, and by visiting that, sometimes it is in… Well, most of the time it’s solitude. I need to go and be with just myself, and to let go of everything else.

Learning to Receive Instead of Only Giving

Why do so many women struggle to receive?
I was just saying before, you know, all those external influences need to disappear for me to really be able to get a grasp on what’s happening, and what, what is this message that I need to listen to, and how is it gonna help me grow, and how am I going to be able to share that with others?
Because I can’t just keep that to myself. I love that a part of my gift is to be able to give to others and serve others. You know, it was quite a hindrance for so many years for me to be like, “Why am I always giving and not receiving?” Um, and I th- I think part of it was, again, fear. Like to receive, to receive is scary because for me that’s a, it was connected to owing something.
Like then I was owing to others. You know, if I receive something it means I, I have to give back, you know, rather than just, “Okay, I’ll take that gift, thank you.” Um, and as a natural giver- Yeah, it’s been looking into all those shadows, working through myself. That has been a bit of a harm I’ve done to myself by not going deeper and then not receiving, not asking as well.
I think that’s another thing that I’ve learnt, to ask for things that I want rather than expecting that others would know. Um, I’m going off on a tangent now. That’s just another subject. No, I love it.

Owning Desire and Asking for What You Want

Why is asking for what you want such a powerful feminine practice?
I adore this because I feel- Yeah … I think, I think women in general, like- Mm-hmm … and, and that’s in a Mars energy, you know, in astrology.
Yes. Yeah. That’s very Mars. Mm-hmm. It’s like owning your desire and being able to say- Yeah … you know, “This is what I want.” Yeah. “And I want it enough to stand up for it-” Mm, mm … and to advocate for it and to ask for it.” Mm-hmm. Take action as well, I think. And a- yeah. Yeah. Yes, and I think it’s very, it’s really common for women to be like, “Oh, if I ask for it, I’m too much.”
Yes. Or, “If I ask, I’m burdening someone,” or I’m- Burdening, yeah. Yeah, and it’s- Needy, you know, all those- Yeah … yeah. It’s, it’s- Wonderful words. We apply to ourselves just to like- Yeah … you know, diminish. Yeah, and I- It just crush us a little more, you know, squash us down.

Midlife Identity & Reclaiming Desire

How does midlife shift women’s relationship with desire and giving?
I think that’s such a good point because I think it comes with midlife.
It’s like, you know, once we start to give up all of the other roles, like I am the giver, and I am the nurturer, and I am… It’s like, you know what? I have this little thing that I want too- Mm … and that’s absolutely okay. Yeah. And I have spent my lifetime giving. And I think- Yeah … for me, you know, I was in a relationsh- you know, my marriage was very- Mm… I, I built it- … on the philosophy of love is all you need. Oh, gosh. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. And it was all about being in the light and being like- That’s the light, yeah … “You know, I can forgive. I can forgive.” Yeah. “I can forgive.” Oh, sugar. Sorry, I just blew you down. I got too excited, yeah. Um, yeah. I can give, I can forgive, I can do all the things.
Yeah. And it’s just love will keep going, love will sustain it all. And it, and it’s, and it’s like, I, it was so, like, toxic spiritual. You know? It was like- Mm … that toxic positivity. Like I can get- Mm … through this. Mm. And the gift for me in the end of that was being like, “I’ve given all I have.” Like- Mm … there’s nothing left in the tank.
Yeah. I can’t give anymore. Mm-hmm.

Flow, Stagnation & Embodied Movement

How can dance help you reconnect with yourself?
And now I’m in a place where it’s like, “Oh, what would it be like to receive?” And- Yeah … oh. And what is it like? So good. I can see it on your face. No. I can see it in your aura. I know. Yeah. It is a beautiful thing to, to, um, yeah, to have, and to share. And to have that, I think it’s a beautiful thing too, when you have that balance with somebody that there is that give and take and flow.
It’s the flow. Oh, I love flow. Yeah. You know? I, um, I struggle with stagnation, and I get bored very easy, and I then I can get into my head very easy if I’m stagnant. So to have that beautiful flow is so magic. Um, can I ask, what is your… How do you find your flow, I guess? Like, what is something that you could share with me to be able to- Yeah, dance is- get that flow? Dance is- Yeah … yeah. Mm. Yeah, you know, it’s- Yeah … you know, my, my relationship with dance is like- Yeah … it’s always been- Sarah Pips, yep. Yeah. Thank you. Um- Yeah … yeah, no, it’s always been… And I don’t, like I still, there’s times when I still really resist flow, but it’s probably- Mm … the place where I can effortlessly, not effortlessly, sometimes it’s like, “No, I need to dance.”
Yeah, yeah. “Come on, just get up and do it.” Mm-hmm. Um, I think it, it can shake me in any place. Like writing- Mm … I find sometimes writing I need to have something meaty to… Like, I find it really hard to write about small stuff or just like- Mm … um, light stuff. Whereas with dance it can be, like I can be dancing to Bjork or, you know, like there’s so many- Yeah. I can dance to anything. Yeah. And I can feel whatever I need to be feel, like whatever needs to be felt. I can- Like all the emotions. Yeah. Like happy, sad, grief, you know, whatever the… Yeah.

Dance, Water & Feminine Flow States

Why do dance and water help women reconnect to their bodies?
I love that as well, and I think that’s, well, that is where we did connect in the first place, so- Yeah … um, yeah, is through dance.
And absolutely, yeah, yep, that is so true. And I think I could do all other forms of exercise. Swimming probably is another close one for me. Ooh. Like to be in the water and to have that movement of swimming, um, and that buoyancy and, you know, probably almost like being back in the womb, um, is really beautiful for me to have the flow.
But dance, ooh- Yeah … it’s a magical thing, isn’t it? It really is, and I think- Mm … as women- I don’t know. I, and I have so many dancers around me. Like- Yeah … so many women that come into my world are ex-dancers of- Mm-hmm … you know, like I did ballet when I was a little girl, or I did this- Yeah … or I raved in London in the, you know- Yeah.
the ’90s or something like that. You and the boy sticks, yeah. Yeah. It’s like so many women that come into my life have had a relationship with dance. Mm. I don’t think they treat it as reverently as it could be. It could be such, you know, I, I call it often a moving prayer for me. Like it- Oh, yeah. Love that.
it’s, there’s something so powerful about experiencing the music and the lyrics and the sound moving through your body, and then like translating that through movement. Mm. I think it just- Yeah … lends itself to ultimate flow. Yeah. You know? It’s just a r- Shifting that energy too, like just shifting it through your body, shifting it around, shifting it into your space and, and if you have, you know, someone with you, shifting and sharing it with them.

Intimacy, Dance & Energy Exchange

Why is dancing with another person so intimate?
Sharing that beautiful ooh. It’s, I, you know what? You’re gonna, you are going to be so surprised by this. I, so for, for background, I was a state champion pole dancer- Yes … back in the day. Yes, Back, way, way back. And I can’t dance with other people. I can’t dance- Yeah … with a man. I don’t know how to.
I’m like- Okay … the pole was, it, I just knew where it was all the time. Yeah. It was so, it was the ultimate mas- I just knew. I knew it- Is it like a, is it a safe space, do you think? Because it- No, I’m s- … wasn’t going to move? I don’t know. I, I, I think maybe there’s just a whole other element of getting to know someone.
Mm-hmm. Mm. Like- It’s intimate … like, ’cause… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is very intimate. Like, and I find it more intimate than sex in a way. I get that. Yeah. I get that. I see that.And I think, um, yeah, I can’t just dance with anybody. That definitely is a really- sacred and special thing for me also.
But to have that, for me it has been like, you know, and, and it hasn’t … There’s probably only been like three times where I’ve made that gorgeous connection with somebody to be able to really … It hasn’t been like an awkward dance. Like- Mm … we have actually connected and moved our bodies together without even thinking about it.
It’s just happened because the spirit has flown together and just morphed together and just been delicious. So wow, that’s interesting. I didn’t know that about you, so thank you for sharing that. That’s okay. I’m- I’m gonna delve into that later. Yeah. No, I’ll be, I’ll be getting voice memos- You will … in the next couple of weeks.
Like, “I’ve gotta think about this.” Yeah. Yeah. No. But- There’s Virgo coming through. I think, um, like from the perspective of tantra it’s really interesting as well. Mm-hmm. Just like that, that capacity for us to have that energy exchange. Mm-hmm. Like I, I think, you know, tantra’s such a beautiful orientation- Mm.
It is … to life as far as- Well, it’s- … relationships … yeah, a lot about breath as well. Mm. Um, again, being in the moment, stopping, pausing, letting everything else go. Let it all sort of melt away and just be one, whether it’s with yourself or with someone else. Um, yeah, but it’s breath, and breath is life, isn’t it?

Breathwork, Presence & Life Force

How does breathwork deepen intimacy and self-connection?
Yeah. Breath is, is life force again. Life force, yeah. And that’s why, you know, there’s a lot of, um, you know, there’s a lot of people that will throw the word around tantra, tantric, you know, um, and use it only for pleasure and only for sex, which you know, is a beautiful thing. Go for it. Do your thing. But to use it in a way- As life force, like to feed yourself life and to grow from it is a really magic thing.
And it does start with breath. Like a lot of it is breath, a lot of it is pausing, a lot of it is, um, visualization, um, eye gazing, which is another magical thing to do. Just sit and eye gaze. That is so, for me, that took a very long time. For me, that was my, um, weak point where I really had to grow with that and let go and be vulnerable.
Like that was my vulnerability definitely was eye gazing because for me to stare into a soul like that and have someone else stare into my soul was terrifying. You know, what are they gonna see? What am I gonna see? But what are they gonna see in me that could be rejected, I guess. It comes back to rejection.

Eye Gazing, Vulnerability & Oxytocin

Why is eye gazing so confronting and transformative?
And to get, again, to get to this maturity level to go, “I am amazing, so you’re lucky to look into my soul.” I, um- Yeah … yeah, the eye gaze, again, you know, it does stimulate oxytocin, so it is interesting- Mm. Mm-hmm … that it’s like the bonding is- Mm … perhaps what we’re fearing by not- Yeah … yeah. Like- Definitely.
Especially coming from, which I, you know, don’t enjoy the word trauma, but coming from trauma, um, and toxic relationships and toxic environments, um, yeah, to, yeah, to expose that, a part of myself I think was, yeah, was the, where the terrifying part comes in and the vulnerability comes in because I’m, yeah, and the rejection comes in.
Because that’s all I knew is those patterns of, you know, the past of going, “If I do this and I’m rejected, then there’s something wrong with me.” It’s not e- it’s, it wasn’t even a matter of looking at it that it just wasn’t the right fit or the time is done. You know? Whatever we were supposed to come together for is done.
This, the contract is done. The soul is done. Mm. Um, and to move on rather than seeing it as a rejection. I can look at those moments now, and even, you know, on a daily basis look at them and go, “Well, we’re just not aligned.” You know, whether it’s a friend, whether it’s a colleague, whether it’s the lady at the supermarket that’s in a mood.
Like, you know, whatever it is. Um, you know, school drop-off. There’s so many things where I’m like, “I don’t need to, I don’t need to take that on board.” That’s just something else is going on with that person obviously, or we’re just not aligned. And for whatever our meeting was, what can I take from it in a positive sense that can look at it and go, “Mm, how can I grow from this?”
Mm. Like, what, what do I need to, what do I need from this to be able to, to grow and to share again? You know? It comes back to- Sounds a little bit egotistical and greedy actually that I’m taking all these taking all these moments and going, “Hmm, how can I spin this around and let it benefit me?” But yeah.

Alignment, Energetics & Emotional Boundaries

How can women stop taking others’ behaviour personally?
It’s alchemy. It is. Yeah. And I think it’s so important to be able to do that and to, you know, to, to live with an open heart. Mm. Yeah. You have to be able to do that. Mm-hmm. Or you’re going to… You know, even if it’s like I am aligned with this person- Mm … and school drop off, it starts to…
You know, it’s like, oh, we’ve got- Mm … all these other stresses- Mm-hmm … and maybe, you know, there’s something that’s a bit challenging. It’s like it’s just not, not, you know, it’s n- not taking it personally. Yeah, no. In my 20s I took everything- Oh … so personally. Yeah. Like, and I think that’s egotistical is like- Yes… it’s, it’s- Yes … it’s all about me. It’s all about me. Obviously she has a problem with me, so I’m some un- Yes … you know, I’m some sh- Yeah … special snowflake that- Yeah. I mean, you are, but yeah. Aw.
Um, but yeah, and I think, you know, when you just get to a… I think on a spiritual journey as well, you kind of get to a point where you distill everything just down to energetics and it’s like- Yes this, that frequency isn’t for me now. Yeah, yeah. It may, it may not be forever, but- Mm-hmm … right now this frequency- Yeah … isn’t serving me and- No. Yeah. We’re all just- And I’m… Mm … energy. Yeah. Yeah. Really, we are. Um, yeah, absolutely. I think I was saying, what were we talking about before, um, with opening the heart?
Oh. I started, um, discussing that with you just in terms of- Um, us, you know, reconnecting and chatting about tantra and relationships and all that sort of stuff. All that juicy stuff. And I didn’t realise until we were chatting about it that through everything that’s gone on with me in the last 10 years, which that’s just another podcast, folks, That, um, how much my heart had calcified.
Aw. And that for me… And look, you know, it had served me because I did need to protect myself through those times. But it wasn’t until we’ve started chatting deeply on this sort of topic that it made me realise, oh my gosh, I wasn’t connecting sacredly with my sacred space. Um, and then my heart, like for it to all be, you know, it wasn’t, it wasn’t aligning in my body.
And in turn that’s what I was saying, that my creativity had gone. My, my dance, my love of dance- Mm … and movement had gone. I hadn’t been moving my hips and, and that was reflecting in so many different areas of my life, including my confidence. You know, wanting to sit in my feminine and be beautiful and soft- Mm and, you know, um, honey-like. Um, all of those elements were, were frozen, and I didn’t realise. I thought I was. I thought I was like, “Oh, no, I’m, you know, I’m in my now and, you know, my sexuality and I’m loving, you know, who I am.” I wasn’t. I was, I was, um- I don’t know. Not that I was lying to myself, but yeah, I had calcified my heart to a certain degree, which is not me.
I have the biggest heart and, you know, so much to share. And so I want to say thank you to you for helping me realise that and opening it up and softening again and dissolving all the, yeah, the ice I guess. You know, melting that away, melting the ice away around my heart again. Not that I was cold but, you know, I wasn’t giving my true self.

Relationships as Mirrors & Spiritual Purpose

How do relationships help us grow spiritually?
So thank you for your beautifulness, for- Aw … allowing me to go there. Making me aware, mm, whether you knew it or not. No, I love you, and I never s- I never, I never get that from you. But I think that’s the beauty of relationships, and I think my, you know, part of my, my bigger purpose on- Mm … on Earth, and I think everyone’s is if we really, really sit in our heart, is to experience- Mm… relationships and growth through relationships. Mm. And, you know, and, and just being authentic and with, you know- Mm … you know, I was experiencing an authentic moment when I’m like, “Hey, remember the tennis stuff?” Yeah. You know, like I was having a very authentic experience when I, that curiosity, you know, sparked in me and I came to you.
Mm. And I think the more we can sit with ourselves and not be… You know, I could’ve been like, “Oh, how,” you know, “That I can’t talk to her about that,” you know? If- Yeah … if I had have been shut down or if I had have had any elements of shame about it- Mm-hmm … and couldn’t bring it to you, then that stops you from growing and healing.
Yeah. And like I didn’t, I didn’t fully realise, you know, that you had felt that way. I, I just can’t imagine ever feeling that from you. You’ve always- From me, yeah. Oh, no, and look, obviously my heart was open, but I know if I really sat with it, which I had been the last few weeks especially, and, um, from my last bleed especially, like just releasing that.
There were so many tears that came through last, you know, a couple of weeks ago with, um, my last bleed, that I was like I could feel my body purging. I could feel it just releasing and r- and relaxing again. Mm. I was so tense. You know, I was tense during sex. I was tense, you know, with any touch, any affection again, and I’m like, “What is going on?
What is going on with me? Why is this happening?” And clearly, I, I, the work that I thought I had finished, that I had done in healing certain elements of, um, events that have taken place in the last 10 years, I hadn’t, I hadn’t finished that work. And I really just had to go back to basics of breathwork again, of stopping, of, you know, sitting with my partner and looking at him and sitting in the mirror.

Mirror Work, Self-Gazing & Inner Light

What happens when you eye-gaze with yourself?
That was the other thing I was doing, and have been doing, and woo, if nobody’s done that, I highly recommend it to eye gaze with myself- For… I was doing it for, you know, three minutes, five minutes here and there, and I can’t explain it. There’s a magic thing. Um, I don’t know if you have done it, maybe you have.
Um- I’m obsessed with- Oh my gosh. I love it. Always have been. I love it. That’s, that’s how I got so good- Yeah … at dancing I’m sure, is having- Yeah … having a mirror. Is to watch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But to sit and really… The, what happens for me after a space of probably, it’s around two minutes I would say, ’cause I set a timer, and it’s around two minutes, I literally melt away.
I disappear. It’s like I evaporate- Mm … in the physical form. Like my- Dematerialize, yeah. Yes. And then there’s a light that shines. Oh. And it is the most amazing, beautiful… It, it is true beauty. Like, the true beauty then is actually seen, and it’s made me really stop and just go, “Whoa,” and then recognise that in others too. You know, when there is moments where somebody, you know, I… Yeah, I have an experience with somebody where I’m like, “Ooh, okay, they’re a little bit spiky. They’re a little bit, you know- Mm … whatever.” I, I have to stop and have that ability to remember, no, that’s, you know, let all that disappear, let all that evaporate or dissolve, um, and see what’s actually down in there.
What’s, what’s through there? What’s, what is that? Even if it’s a sp- a tiny little, you know, um, ember of a- Mm … of a flame. You know, they’re … Everyone’s got it. Everyone’s got this beautiful spirit, this beautiful light inside them, and it’s … It was, yeah, it’s been really empowering again. And I think it comes back to, again, being blessed as a woman, being a woman.

Feminine Energy, Softness & Collective Healing

Why is softness a source of feminine strength?
Yeah. You know? Having that beautiful feminine energy and what we can create with it, or what we can, um, empower ourselves with and empower others with it, including men. Not just this woman, you know, to woman thing. Like, to share that with men and remind them of who we are, what we are, and what, what we can give, and what we bring to the world.
Um, I don’t think there’s enough subject on that at the moment. I think there’s a lot of, which, you know, I, we, I sent you a message about, that there’s so much man-bashing and man-hating, and women feeling like that’s the way to regain power in the world as a woman, is to sit in that masculine. Mm. And for me instead, it’s this message that keeps coming through to me is, no, we need to sit in our softness, in our love.
Obviously have boundaries and protect and- Mm. Mm … you know, all of that as well, which is very important. And to be a realist. You know, I’m not living in this airy-fairy fluffy world. But nothing is going to change until we really embody that feminine energy of, you know, the softer side, the loving side, the fun side.
The fun. The fun. Yeah, the play. The fun. Yeah. The play. Rather than sitting in this defensive, hard warrior, which has its purposes, it serves well. Mm. But to, to constantly be in that state of defence and anger and, you know, um… I don’t know. It doesn’t, I just feel like it’s not completing the service that we should be giving as women.
I feel like w- I feel like it needs to be… I don’t know. I just, I don’t know how we’re going to do it as a collective, but I feel like there needs to be more, um, focus on that softer side of ourselves. Mm. Yeah. I, and- And I, mm. Yeah. Even, like, in relationship, you know? It’s, it becomes- The more I soften, the more strength.
It’s, and it, it sounds- Yeah … counterproductive but the more I soften, the stronger I feel… it almost sounds paradoxical, but it’s like- Mm-hmm … the more I can- Yeah, I don’t know how to articulate it, but- Yeah … yeah. It, it is a, it’s such a beautiful feeling, but it also comes from being in an environment or being around people that, you know, elicit that safety as well. Because I, I think in my last relationship I tried.

Loving Men Without Losing Yourself

How can women embrace softness without erasing masculinity?
But that was, you know, I was like, “I want to be-” That’s what you wanted to do, yeah. Yeah. And it was like, that wasn’t- Mm … really appropriate- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm … in that dynamic. Yeah. Um, so I think, you know, like I don’t want a man, but I, I love men.
Like, men are amazing. Me too. They are so- Amazing … like, and but- Yes. But there is, you know- We love men … we both have work to do. We both- Yeah … have work to do. Men have work to do as well. Mm-hmm. Um, but I don’t want to- I don’t want to erase men- Mm … in any way. No, no. And, and the masculine- And I feel like that is h- yeah, I feel like that is happening though, and I think that’s why there’s so much confusion of, um, guys sort of not knowing what their role is at the moment especially. Um, and I get… You know what else? I guess I think I’m not hyper-focused, but I think I’m more focused on it at the moment because I am raising- Yeah … a beautiful little guy. Yeah. That I want him, and I’ve already done it with my stepsons, but I don’t know, maybe it’s the time. I don’t know, maybe there’s something cosmically going on too that, that something’s opened up.

Raising Boys, Masculine Identity & Feminine Influence

How can mothers support healthy masculinity in their sons?
That the… It feels like this moment in time is even more, um, potent in doing it. Mm. Mm. Sharing my… He just absolutely adores me. He, I am his goddess. This child- Aw … he is just such a blessing and so beautiful, and he has taught me so much about myself since I, since I fell pregnant with him, you know? Um, and he just continues to teach me every day something about myself.
But to know that I, because I, you know, in my past relationships too I always had to be mother and father. Mm. And he is teaching me that it’s okay to just, not just, but to be the mother. Yeah. To be the woman in his life that he looks up to and he adores.And in turn I just look at him and think, “You are amazing,” you know?
And to regain faith in males again, and I think that’s where it’s coming from. I think it’s after having, yeah, after having my son. I think that’s what it is. Just- Mm … having that faith back that there are beautiful men out there, and it starts with, for me, it starts with my mothering and the mother. It starts with that beautiful connection of respect as well, you know, for each other.
You know, him respecting me as the woman that I am, and me respecting him as this little beautiful male being that I’m going to, I’m shaping and molding into, you know, um, putting him out there eventually. Letting him go, which I already started, you know, with kinder and school- Mm, yeah … and that sort of stuff, you know?
Um, yeah, but to be able to give that to him, to go, “Now you can go.” Now, and, and for me to be content to go I have given him all those beautiful moments and softness and, and nurturing and, um, cradling him in, you know, a spiritual way, not neces- well, and physical at times still. But, and knowing that he will carry that through his life with whoever he wants to share that with is such a beautiful, special gift.
And it does, it comes back down to me sitting in my, my feminine space. Mm. Yeah. It’s inter- I, I, I can’t remember his chart fully, but I do remember he has- Yeah … a moon, a moon in Mars So he’s got- Activation … he, he’s Taurus. He’s Taurus Yeah. Yeah, I think so. He’s Taurus, um, sun. Yeah. His moon is in Virgo. Mm. And yeah, I think, yeah.
Yeah. I think you were s- I know. Yeah. I think you were saying, I think you were saying about him, I do remember one thing, ’cause you did do his chart after he was born, and I remember maybe, ’cause I’m terrible when it comes to astrology, but I remember you saying something about he will love with all his heart.
Mm. And he probably will get his heart broken several times- Aw … because he can’t remember that… Oh, he can’t, sorry, he doesn’t realise that other people don’t love the same. Aw. Um, yeah. And I- I’m so sorry for that prediction Oh, no. I love it … I feel really bad now when I put predictions in like that. No, not at all.
No, because you know what it did? It made me realise how much more I need to nurture his little heart. Yeah. Because he is s- he feels so deeply with things. Mm. And I, I just think, “Oh, he’s a, you know, he’s a little earth sign and he’s got this- Yeah … and he’s very grounded.” But oh, my goodness, his emotions. And he does.

Astrology, Sensitivity & Emotional Nurturing

How can astrology help parents understand their children?
Like, he’ll come home from school and I’m like, “What’s going on? You know, are you okay?” And he’s like… You know, it can be just the littlest of things. You know, “Such and such said to me that my drawing wasn’t that great.” Aw. And he takes everything to heart. So no, I love that you shared that with me about him.
Aw, thanks. Because it was, yeah, it’s really made me, um- Just to be reminded that he needs that extra- Yeah … extra nurturing when it comes to his heart and his feelings and his emotions, and expressing them. Making sure that I’m constantly, you know, um, and reinforcing to him that it’s okay. You know, that’s okay, and it is all right to be sad.
But, you know, we can also move through it, and these are the different tools that he can have- Mm … to move through these. Obviously, one of the biggest one is communication- Yeah … and having that communication. And having me present, you know? I did it with my girls too, but to have that, to be present for him I have found is so important.
To really sit and listen to him and be with him, rather than be distracted or, you know, dismiss anything that he’s saying. Just to remember that he’s just a little person going through all these emotions and feelings, the hurts, and you know, and to collect them all and to be able… And, and I’m amazed by him that he already has that emotional intelligence.
That he can- Mm … come to me with s- various things. Like recognise something and saying, “This is how I’m feeling, and why am I feeling like…” Like, wow. You know, I, I feel the same. Like, my youngest, Aristotle, is- Mm … double Pisces. He’s like- Yeah. Wow. … so, he’s so emotionally intelligent and advocate, and like he expresses his feelings with like clarity. Like- Mm-hmm … I think, you know, last night he fell out of bed, and then he’s like, “mum, can you do some reiki?” Goodness. “Can you do some reiki on my toe?” Yeah. Like, yes.Like, and I, and I almost feel like- Of course … having that beautiful polarity, like a, a soft, like I, you know I get angry, and et cetera.

Parenting Boys Through Perimenopause

How does perimenopause affect mothering?
Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s- Hey, hey, we’re only human … parenting through perimenopause is not- I’m no, no angel here. Parenting through perimenopause is a whole- Yeah. Wow … other thing. Wow. Yeah. And having that, you know, baseline of softness from a mother- Mm. Mm-hmm … I feel like it gives the boys and the men the capacity to be able to be like, “Okay, well that’s where she ends, and this is where I begin.”
Yes. Yes. Rather than like we’re all a h- you know, homogenous human- Mm. Mm. Mm … that’s like very fluid, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And I’m, you know, you know, I’m all, all for people discovering and, and- Mm-hmm … challenging and a- and self-expression and everything. But I feel like- Yeah … there is a, a, you know- A healthy balance of masculine and feminine in any- Yes … relationship- Yes … and being able to, to know where each lies- Yeah … is such a powerful gift. It really is. Um, sorry, my head’s now gone into also mothering as with perimenopause. Yes. Yeah, no, let’s go there. Can we touch on that a little? Yes, let’s do it. Oh my goodness. Um- ‘Cause you’ve had, you would have had two very different experiences.
Like, you- With pregnancies and birth and everything? With just- Yeah … mothering. Yeah. Oh, just mothering. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So I had my first when I was 18, so I was a teen mum. Ooh. And, um, yeah, my beautiful Molly is 28 now, and it was a completely different experience. I, I was not a normal teen mum though, if you wanna put me in the stereotypical teen mum.
I just threw myself into motherhood. I was like, “Well, you know, this is it. This was, this… I wrote, I wrote this contract,” you know? Yeah. I, my soul was made to be a mother at this age, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened, you know?

The Martyr Mother Narrative

Why is self-sacrifice harmful for both mothers and children?
I wouldn’t have decided to, um, go down that track. And I said goodbye to pretty much everyone.
I said goodbye to all my friends. I said, you know, they’re out going to… I hadn’t even been to a nightclub before. So they’re all off going to nightclubs and driving and, you know, doing all normal 18-year-old stuff, and I’m breastfeeding, so- Mm … you know, which again, that’s another story, but, um, with my choices.
And I fed her till she was 19 months. Well, that was like, you know, people look at me going, “What’s wrong with you?” Mm. And I’m like, “Really?” Like- So yeah, that’s just another story. But then yeah, so I had that experience of 18, and then I had my two other girls when I was in my mid-20s, like early to mid-20s. Um, which I don’t know, I guess that was kind of a normal experience.
And then yeah, being called a geriatric preg- uh, pregnancy with Luca, um, was wild. Like, so wild. Um, I found too, like hormonally with my girls, like having my girls younger, I sort of, I don’t know, maybe I grew up with them as well. There, so there was- Mm … that whole, you know, I guess my, my hormones were more balanced then also.
So things were just flowing calmly, you know? I’d have, you know, a bit of, um… Oh, God, I can’t even think of what it’s called now. See? Brain fog. You know, I’d have, I’d get moody from time to time- Mm … just before my period, I guess. Um, and that was all normal stuff. Now, going through having this little person at the age of seven going through his emotions, and regulating, and all that sort of stuff, going through perimenopause has been so interesting.
Because it’s- Mm … it’s almost like I’m going through a second puberty, I guess. Yeah, it’s exactly. And like your, your brain- That’s what it feels like, yeah … it’s exactly- Mm. Like, it’s the biggest- So I- … brain change- Oh my gosh … since puberty. Yeah. It’s crazy. And yeah, the more … Obviously, there’s not enough research out there for us, as most things are for women.
Um, and- You know what? I- I, just quickly interrupt you. Yeah. I don’t really care anymore about the research. No. I love having conversations with my friends. I was about, I was about to say exactly. Oh, so glad. I was about to say the research part is us chatting. Yeah. We’re doing the research. You know what I mean?

ADHD, Iron and Listening to Your Body

Is there a connection between perimenopause, brain fog and iron?
Yeah. We’re- we’re the ones that are sitting, and I think that’s, like, the stigma needs to be taken away, again, to empower- Mm … us to be able to sit as women and say, “Hey, this is how I’m feeling,” or, “I literally want to blow my house up today, and that’s okay.” Yeah. You know? I can’t stand listening to my child laughing today, because I’m so overstimulated.
Yeah. I am so overwhelmed. Like, why are you laughing so loud? Yeah. What? Okay, no, clearly not. Um, like, all those little things. I didn’t have that with my girls. You know? I didn’t have any of those … It’s an awful word to say, but irritations. Yeah. Like, they didn’t irritate me, and I’m finding I kept s- taking it back to am I irritated because he’s a male?
Like, you know- No … ’cause I have my moments. No. And then I’m like, no, it’s my hormones. It’s this, it’s this perimenopause. Yeah. This second teenage, I don’t know, moment. Mm. Like, stage of my life. And h- I’ve found the one thing that has helped me has definitely been diet. Yeah. Like, changing my diet and making time for myself. Gentle exercise. Um, yeah, cutting certain things out, cutting certain di- uh, things out of my diet and reintroducing stuff that I used to nourish my body with so much, and for whatever reason I stopped. You know? Mm. Particularly, um, iron. Uh, my iron’s always been terrible. But my iron, just increasing that.
I’m like, oh, okay, I don’t feel as, you know- I don’t know, nutty I guess. It’s interesting- I don’t feel as adaptable … with the iron. Yeah, the iron’s really interesting ’cause I have a lot of women come to me that, um- Sorry, that’s another one. Yeah … would identify with ADHD. Mm. Which there is, you know, perimenopause and ADHD, there’s a lot of crossovers in symptomology. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, there’s so- it’s like I don’t- I can’t remember stuff, and I forgot this- Yeah, yeah … and like, I- this annoys me, and I don’t have the tolerance for this- Mm-hmm … and I can’t think this through. Mm. And it’s like there’s a lot of crossover. Yeah.
Iron, I- I like obviously have your bloods done first- Yes … but I would, if you’re really highly feeling like you may have ADHD around- Mm … perimenopausal age- Yes, hands up over here. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And me too. All right, yeah. And I still forget to take my iron, and I’m like- Yeah … “Oh, it’s the ADHD.” No. I just didn’t take iron.
No. Yeah. Well, it, you know, and it could obviously- Yeah … there’s, you know, pieces that- Other elements, yeah, mm-hmm … yeah, there’s pieces that would fit into that box, but I feel like, you know, there’s such a key- Yeah … iron- iron is key. Mm. Yeah. It’s amazing, you know, and it’s again, breath, oxygen. Yeah. Um, you know, it feeds so much for us with the- the cells, but, uh, what about zinc?
‘Cause I find that if I’ve increased my zinc… Is that, is that- Yeah. Well, zinc’s just amazing for hormonal like- For hormonal? Yeah. Yeah, hormones in general. Yeah. ‘Cause I’m very Yeah … when it comes to I don’t necessarily go off and do anything. I’ll just listen to my body and say, “What do I need?” Like, what… If I tap into my body and I’ll go, “Oh, okay, I need zinc,” so you know, I might take some supplements or I’ll increase my food with zinc in it, you know?
Mm. So that’s interesting that that is a big one for hormones. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Zinc’s very implicated in healthy hormones. Um, I was wondering like with your, with mothering, like- Mm … as far as- You know, the, the, your philosophy, I’ve found- Yeah … so I had Otis when I was 33. Okay. Yeah. Bernie was 36, I think. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Just sort of… and then Ari was, like, 38. Mm-hmm. My philosophy was very much attachment parenting at the start. Yes. Like, oh, I need to do every- I need to give them everything. Like- Okay … I need, yeah, it was- Everything, yeah. Mm. It was very, very attachment. Like, and now I think it’s just through, you know, hormones and maybe, maybe a bit to do with, like, going through a separation.
I’m only one person now. Mm. I can’t give them everything. Yeah, yeah. And also, um, yeah, perimenopause, you know, just waning estrogen. Now I’m more like, it’s not my job to give them everything. Like, I give them a found- foundation, and then they- Mm … can make everything from there. Mm.

Rediscovering Yourself in Midlife

Why is perimenopause a time to reconnect with your identity?
Um, my philosophies have changed so much.
Like- Oh, God, yeah … do you feel the same? Yeah, absolutely. And I think, look, I think there’s a couple of different layers to it. I think part of it is what I watched, uh, my mother do, and that whole almost martyr-like- Mm … um, role that she played. Like, you know, “But I’ve given everything. I’ve given everything up for you, you know, for all of you.”
Mm. Um, that role that was played for a very long time, to watch that, and then, but for it to be connected with guilt. Yeah. I feel like I could have very easily, if maybe I did and wasn’t aware of it, I could have very easily gone down that track without knowing it, um, of, you know, “But I’ve given you everything.”
Not that I would throw it back in their face, but in my head I would feel like I would validate myself, going, “Well, I’m a, I’m a great mother because, you know, I’ve, I’ve constantly been there for my children. I’ve never abandoned them.” Mm. You know, it comes back to my abandonment issues, but I’ve never abandoned them.
I’ve never said, you know, no to them unless there was a valid reason. You know, I’ve, I’ve always put them first. In, in my head then I was like, “Well, that makes me a great mum.” Mm. But as I’ve gotten older and, you know, obviously the more I had, the more children I had, you know, you do have to split your time.
You do have to, um, divide your time and energy for all those little people, and you can’t do it without eventually something- something missing out, and that for me was my health. Like that for me was my physical health, my mental health, my spiritual health. Um, it, it really got affected. And so I had two choices where I could look at it and go, and now obviously with the hormones, um, taking place as well, that I, I had to make a choice.
Like what do I wanna do? Do I want to be so burnt out because I’m giving everything? Mm. Or do I want to still be there for them, allow them to do stuff for themselves, which helps them grow. I was doing a harm to them by doing absolutely everything for them. Mm. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah. I see it. I see it now Like a harm.
What are they gonna do once they leave, you know? Once they leave this safe space of home, um, how is that going to help them? It’s not, you know? And, and, and not allowing them to find and discover who they are. And it’s okay to make mistakes. Like, it’s okay to not be perfect. Mm. It’s okay to, you know, um- A Virgo.
Whoa. I’m like, whoa. You’ve done the work. I’ve done the work. Um, yeah, definitely. Um, that, that’s all okay, and it comes… If, if I didn’t get to that point, it definitely was going to come with a cost, and that cost was my health. So I think I, as a great mother, we have to give back to ourselves, and we have to have boundaries, and we have to say no, and we have to say wait.
That’s the other thing too, you know. We have to say- Mm … “You can wait,” you know. “I’m going to the toilet. You don’t need to follow me.” Yes. You know? Just a simple task, you know? Uh, bodily functions, you know. Or, you know, “I’m having a shower. You can wait.” Yeah. I would not have a shower, Nelley. Yeah, yeah. I know.
Like, I would, I would be like, “No, I have to do this first. I, they must, you know, they must eat this second- Yeah … dinner snack right now.” No, I had that same- Do you know what? Yeah. I can’t- It’s like a self-abandonment too. Oh my gosh, yeah. It’s like, like… And, and it, and it’s so, it’s so dysfunctional- Mm-hmm … that our self-worth is wrapped in self-abandonment for so long.

The Mental Load and the Martyr Narrative in Motherhood

What is the “martyr mother” narrative and why is it harmful?
Yeah, for so long. Like, I… And, and you look at, you know, you look at the narratives. And I don’t, I don’t say this is true across the board. Like, I know some amazing single dads. I know some- Mm-hmm … like, not so great single mo- Yeah … you know? Like, the, it goes- Yeah, yeah … both ways. But I would say generally the narrative is, you know, the mum does stuff, and it’s like, well, you just, that’s what’s expected of you.
Yeah. Whereas the dad’s like- Of course … “I took them to the park today.” Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It’s like the difference- Oh, you know, I did some folding today. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I feel like it, that there is such a strong narrative of like- Mm … to be a good mum, you have to really self-abandon or like- Oh, gosh. Yeah.
Yeah. And it is- It is the martyr narrative, isn’t it? It is the martyr narrative, and it really is harmful. It’s harm- es- especially- Having, well, not especially, but, uh, particularly when it comes to having three daughters myself, for them to be watching that- Mm … you know? And it ebbed and flowed with me depending what was going on with my relationship, because I am a shocker for that.
When I’m in a relationship, I just throw my whole self into it. Yeah. Um, but, but then God. Um, but yeah, for them to be watching that, I don’t want them to do that. I don’t want them to be that. I am their role model. I am their- Mm … you know, they’re watching me, and it’s, um, what’s the saying? The monkey see, monkey do type thing.

Rediscovering Identity Beyond Motherhood

How do mothers reclaim their identity outside of parenting?
Like, I don’t want- That to be who they remember me as either. I want them to be able to go, “Mum was amazing.” You know? “Mum, Mum wasn’t just Mum, she was Sarah.” You know? “She loved photography. She did love dance. She painted. She was funny.” Mm. You know? I was quirky. Mm. I loved to cook. Like all those- Quirky You know, very quirky.
My favourite. All, all the different parts of me. You know, emotional, you know, I love to sing. Like, to remember all the parts of me, and they wouldn’t be able to know all those parts of me is if, uh, all I was doing was focusing on them, them, them. Mm. You know? And it does, it ends up coming … I don’t know, I think, I can’t speak for men ’cause I’m not a man, but for women you get to a certain age, and maybe also becoming a mother, where you look back and you kind of, yeah, you feel bad and guilty that your mum wasn’t truly that woman that she was before becoming a mum.
You know what I mean? Like- Mm … for me, I definitely have where I look back and think, “Well, why didn’t my mum continue?” She loved to paint and she loved to sing. Like, why didn’t she continue to do that? Why did she stop that just because she became a mother? Um, and so now I’m definitely nurturing that part of me again.

Creative Expression as Self Nourishment

Why is creativity essential for women’s wellbeing?
You know, bringing my cameras out and, you know, sitting and just sketching or whatever it is. I’m always singing, so I can’t stop that one. I’m constantly … Sorry, I’ve got like a piano going off in the background. Um, I’m always, you know, doing some sort of singing, whether it’s making up a- Yeah … ridiculous song about the morning or whatever it is.
So that one never stopped. Ah. The kids have been subjected to that their whole lives. Um- But my kids, my kids, we join in now. Like, we have our own- Yeah … little band going. It’s great. Oh, love that. Love that. Would love to hear it sometime. Um, yeah, so I think it, yeah, it just comes back down to again of not abandoning ourselves and how important that is as a woman, as a friend, as a sister, as a auntie, as a mother, as a whatever, as a partner, um, to make us a whole person.

Perimenopause as a Time of Renewal

Is perimenopause really a “second puberty” and a chance to shine?
Mm. Because I think it’s very easy … And maybe this is also why. You know, nothing’s for nothing, that’s one of my sayings. Everything happens for a reason, and perhaps these hormonal changes start to take place at this age because, you know, it’s our time to … We’ve given so much again, and it’s our time to reflect on What really makes me happy and shine?
Yeah. And let’s revisit that. And it is, it’s that whole playfulness again too, and being a teen, like going through that second puberty, you know? It, it’s a rediscovery, isn’t it? Yeah. Yeah It really is. Like- And I do think it’s a time to shine. Like for me, I’m like- Yeah … I- Oh, yeah. I feel like we’re glowing so much more.
I’m like… I’m just- Yeah … I’m obsessed with your skin right now. I’m just watching you, I’m like- Wow … but yeah. I’m just obsessed with you. I think it is a time… Aw. Love you so much. Um- Love you … yeah, it is a time to shine. Like I’m, I’m really- Mm … finding, you know, once we get out of, I think there’s such a, like, there’s such a heavy capsule around what perimenopause means.

Challenging the “Drying Up” Myth

What does “drying up” in perimenopause really mean?
Yeah. And I feel like once women can crack through that- Mm … and it’s like, “Oh, I’m not just going to dry up and be depleted.” Yes. Oh my gosh. Like get old and be the hag and all of that. The drying up. Can we discuss that? Sorry, I’ll cut you off. You go. No, no, you go. I, I’m- Oh my gosh … yeah. I just wanted to talk about that too.
The, the drying up part. Like what is that? Why is that such a focus? And is it, if we look at it again by touching back on that again, is the drying up happening, um, you know, because we’re- I don’t know. We’re drying up with our creativity, we’re drying up with our passions, we’re drying up with our intellect.
We’re not, we’re not nurturing ourselves in those ways. So it’s- Yeah … it’s, you know, coming through our bodies in that way. We have to continue to give ourselves all those things that are, uh, that feed our soul, that make us shine, that make us youthful. That is youth, you know? That is where youth is not dried up because they continue to play, they continue to have fun, they continue to be cheeky, they continue to push boundaries, they continue to explore.

Movement, Dance, and Sexual Energy

How can movement and exploration support libido during perimenopause?
And why, why do we need to stop that just because we begin to age or enter a different stage in our life? Because our body stops having the ability to have children doesn’t mean that we have to stop the ability of having fun and still being, you know, playful. Mm. I, I think, I think that’s a big thing of what creates those, um, issues for women.
Like, particularly, you know, in the genitals. Like the- Mm … like, or with sex, you know, sex drive. Yes, obviously the hormones do plummet and things, you know, shift around, which, um, influences it, but i- there’s a way of, um, battling it, I guess, and getting through it, is by simple things. Mm. Back to dance, I say.
Yeah. Go back to- I think dance is great … back to movement. But it’s like a … It’s I think, I don’t, I never look at a symptom in isolation. Mm. Like for me, I, and I, so much of what I do is energetic based anyway. Yeah. Um, like I think it’s a spiritual aridity. Mm. Like I think there’s like, you know, dry in one area you have to, like where else can we inject? Yeah. Where else? You know? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. How can we lubricate you? Yes. Like your whole life needs- Yes … lubrication. Yeah. Not just one aspect- Yeah, one area … of your- Yep, yep. And I think the exploration thing is such a beautiful point because it’s like- Mm … but I’m used to doing it this way and getting this result.

Lingerie, Confidence, and Feminine Energy

Should women wear lingerie for themselves instead of for partners?
Yeah. And it’s like- Mm … you’re a whole, you’re becoming a whole new person. Yes, yes. Your brain is completely rewiring. Literally. Let’s play around and see- Yeah … what other ways, and you know- Yes … maybe it means a little bit more time here, or maybe it means like wearing- Yeah … a little, you know- Yeah … lingerie over here.
Yes. Or doing a little dance over here. It’s so interesting you bring that up, too. We were talking, um, my youngest daughter, she’s 21 now, but we were talking about something came up about lingerie, and we were laughing about it, and I said, “How much of lingerie really is for men?” Like- Mm … they’ll rip it off in two seconds, let’s face it.
Like, yes, men are visual creatures, but I feel like- And I said it to, to Eve. I was like, “Women really need to be wearing lingerie for themselves.” Ooh. Like, to feel that sexiness and that feminine energy again. Like, if I know that if I’m wearing like a sexy bra under something, I’m like, “Yeah, you don’t know what’s going on under here but I’m feeling good.” You know what I mean? Mm. And then that empowers us and, and brings us into a spot where we’re, like, open to, to explore that part of ourselves even more because we feel empowered, because we’re in that, you know, we’re in ourselves to be able to share that with someone if we choose to.

Self Perception, Ageing, and Inner Spark

How does self image shape intimacy and confidence over time?
So yeah, it’s funny that you just raised the, the lingerie part. It’s definitely, um, all these little, all these little rituals, I guess, that we can put into place for ourselves to bring back our amazingness. Is that a word? Yeah, yeah. It is now. It is now. I, um, yeah, and even like I think it, it all comes down to how we’re feeling about ourselves ultimately as well.
Yeah. You know? Like, I think a man would probably look up- you know, if you’ve been, had your beloved for 20 years- Mm … he’s probably still gonna look upon you in the same way with the- Yeah … same love and the same expectation. Mm. It’s how we feel, I think- We feel. Yeah … that really shifts throughout the years.
Mm. And if we can feel, you know, if we’re not looking, you know, you’re eye gazing in the mirror. Mm. You know, if you, if you can’t even look yourself in the eye in the mirror- Mm … I think- Mm … that’s probably a beautiful place to start is being able to look at yourself and go, “Oh, wow, there is, there are flames.”
Yes. “I am a,” you know? Yes. “I have spark. I have that-” Oh, gosh, yeah … beautiful essence shining through. And she’s still in there. That, that playful, beautiful woman is still in there, you know? She’s there. You’ve just gotta find her again. Aw, Sarah, I don’t even wanna say goodbye. No. I feel like- We’re, we’re, we’re probably- It’s time blocked. Yeah. I, well, it was up a little while ago, but I feel like- I- … I just can’t.

Closing Reflections and Guest Offering

Where can listeners connect with Sarah or book a reading?
I love you so dearly. I love you too. I adore you. Thank you so much. You are such a blessing and- I think I, I think I went off on a tangent a few times, but hey, that’s me. No, yeah. Well, and that’s what we’re here for. Like, I’m not here for like, you know? We’re not… There’s no checklist and yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I adore you, and I’d love to have you- I love you … back sometime as well. Thank you
so much. I would love that. Um, I know you’re not, you’re not, haven’t got a huge presence online or anything, but is there any- No … your Instagram, anything where you’d like- Yeah, Temple of the Priestess. So I do, I am starting again, going back to, you know, sharing my gifts. I am starting to do some readings again. So- Ooh … online or in person, which is a bit exciting.
So I do… Look, I call it tarot reading, but it’s just energetic. I just, it’s a, it’s a, you know, a prop really, my cards. Um- I- I can… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. And, and it makes people feel a bit more comfortable too if they’re not used to it. They’re like, well, rather than just staring at someone going, “I can see things.”
Yeah. But you do- I’ve got the cards … you do it with the memes to me. I need to add in like- I know, I do actually. We, sometimes it’s like a couple of months or, you know- Yeah … like in between us catching up. Mm-hmm. And then I’ll just get this meme in my inbox. And I’m like- She knows … how does she know? It’s like the same- She always knows but it’ll be so highly specific to- Oh … what I’m going through. Yeah. I’m like, “Oh.” It is, it is really funny. I do that with my special ones, my loved ones, and music, songs. That’s the other thing- Oh … that’ll come through with me, so yeah. But yes, thank you very much for, for mentioning that. I do. It’s Temple of the Priestess.
And yeah, you’ll see my, my, um, my Virgo self on, yeah, in the images. And just reach out, DM if you do want a reading and that I can do that for you. Thank you. You are so beautiful. Thank you so much, Sarah. Thank you, my darling. Have a gorgeous day. And, um- You too … catch up soon. Mm. Tomorrow. Love you so much.
Bye. Love you. Bye, darling.
Thank you for sitting with us today. It has been an absolute joy. If you’d like to work with me or connect with any one of our beautiful guests, you can find everything at perimoon.com.au. And until next time, may you find yourself all the way alive.